Sometimes, At Night..

                                   I
lye awake in the dark,
trying to fall asleep,
trying to avoid thinking
of certain memories.
Some nights, I just
                                 cant
help it, and the things
from that past that
had, and still do, hurt
me the most push
themselves into my head.
I don't want to
                                   do
this, I just want to
sleep, forget about it
all, but here come the
tears. Soon my pillow
is soaked and I have
to flip it over.
                                  This
is when I get out
of bed, find my sweet
steel friend. I open
my skin, let my blood
slow, slowly, staining
the carpet.

I don't know who
I really am
                                anymore.